Back for more, settle down, try not to cause too much commotion, these blokes are already jealous of my success and fret their shops aren’t getting near as much exposure. But you can’t blame them, I am somewhat of a prodigy and the paranoia of death? It keeps me rich. So, what brings you here? No, I’m just messing with you, I definitely remember.

Are you acquainted with the sport of rodeo? I hope you are, because if you aren’t, well you’ve been living under a rock my friend, that’s what you are. For those who don’t know, rodeo is usually a game which is played with bulls or horses, it can involve many rules or no rules at all - which makes the game a dangerous one to play. The sport is fast-moving with tough athletes who before the game begins have been mentally prepared for the many fatalities that it could involve. Maybe its bareback, saddle bronc, or bull riding, all of it will involve you falling into the mud and bruising yourself - worse, but I don’t want to scare you before you get a chance to pursue the thrill. Personally, it’s not a sport I would play if I was afraid of getting my hands dirty, but we’re not the same person, don’t let that stop you from playing rodeo.

Now what exactly could go wrong, I hear you ask? Your animal could go rogue for starters. Even if you have years of partnership with your stallion, it could fall to pieces in seconds, you never know animal mentality, now, do you? Unless you’ve actually studied it, I think they offer that in Horseback Riding or Animal Care, try stopping by there. You could lose your balance/posture despite not being victim to a rogue horse or a bull, and still fall. You’d be surprised at the amount of rodeo accidents that happen everyday - I ain’t got no time to do the math, but let me tell you, it is a lot. You cowboys need to stop falling off if this is what you seek entertainment from.

And this is my job, to tell you how exactly this is to be done. Try wearing some headgear - no, your stetson doesn’t count as one. A helmet should do. Perhaps something to protect your knees and elbows? Protective gear doesn’t make you any less expertised, if at all, it makes sure you’ll win easily. Agreed, protective gear these days is hard to come by - who said you can’t make any yourself? For the love of your beloved sport? Before you mount the animal, ensure the saddle is right - is it strapped on to the right degree of tightness? Is the bull in a relatively bad mood today? Might not be the best time to get into a game of rodeo and prove your stomachs. Just thinking ahead of time prevents so many accidents from happening, when will people learn? Perhaps never.

While you can rule out deaths for most part in this game - you can never be too sure. Thus ensure you’re prepared and you’ll be just fine! Now go on, don’t you have something else to do? This is all I have for today.